I am used to hearing "err on the side of caution." You too? Even though I tend to have a decisive personality, usually I still err on the side of caution. Recently, I began reading the new marriage book by Francis Chan You and Me FOREVER- Marriage in Light of Eternity. I am a huge fan of Francis Chan, his books and sermons, so I was thrilled when I saw that he had a new book coming out. I'll warn you, it's not just a normal marriage book though. It's about being so focused on eternity and God's purposes, that your marriage works and thrives as a result.
By page 16, Francis began sharing some truths which I could testify to. These truths were also a re-challenge to me and my own marriage. You see, he states that "sometimes people are paralyzed by fear of failure. They are so afraid that they might do the wrong thing that they do nothing." This resonated with me. I have been going through a challenging season, with difficult situations in the medical world with my son and daughter's medical care. I remember just a week or so ago feeling so overwhelmed that I just needed to not make ANY decision because I had no clarity and no peace. I felt crippled and lost. But Francis proceeds to say, "So many won't do anything unless they hear a voice from heaven telling them precisely what to do. Why not default to action until you hear a voice from heaven telling you to wait?" Wow. Isn't that the truth!!?? We just don't hear this in the Christian community, because we have become so good at playing it safe.
Francis finishes that paragraph with a BOLD statement, "For example: Why not assume you should adopt kids unless you hear a voice telling you not to? Wouldn't that seem more biblical since God has told us that true religion is to care for the widows and orphans (James
This statement sums up our choice to adopt our then, very sick son, Kevin, from El Salvador. We had known Kevin since he first arrived at Love and Hope Children's Home at age 3. I met him while visiting there. My heart was sensitive to his delicate condition - 3 years old, 14 pounds, skin and bones, chronically agitated, serious respiratory issues, and recurring vomiting - because back home I had a very medically fragile biological daughter, Courteney. So, although I had compassion, I never thought of what actions could be taken to change his life, to really help him. The following year I went back and met Kevin again. This time, thankfully, the Lord was using a book, by Joni Eareckson Tada, about suffering to speak truth to me. Basically, I realized Jesus WOULD NOT come here and see Kevin and do nothing. It was as simple as that. The thought of adoption terrified me, so we thought maybe a medical Visa for him would be most sensible. I remember returning home from El Salvador and saying to Dan that I think we need to do something for Kevin. We decided to look into a medical visa, which we quickly learned are only for curable/treatable conditions. And so the scary word "adoption" started to makes it's way into our conversations. We purchased a bible study on adoption from Family Life and began that study together. The study encouraged us to make a list of pros and cons of adoption. Our list of cons was WAY bigger than our list of pros. How do you push two kids in wheelchairs? What do you do when one is admitted in the hospital and one is home? Lord, we don't have $30,000. We live in a two bedroom apartment. We are content with just Courteney - we really don't want more kids. The list went on and on. The truth is, I could have taken this list to some of my most godliest of friends and it would have been very likely that I could have justified to them why Dan and I should NOT adopt Kevin and they would have agreed - probably using phrases such as "you guys have enough on your plates." But PRAISE GOD that this bible study took us through the bible, the scriptures that speak about adoption, orphans, and "the least." Dan's response was very clear (even though I know he was scared). He said "none of these reasons (referencing our list of cons) are good enough to stand before Jesus and give someday." You see ladies, I don't know what you believe, but we believe with all of our hearts, what the Bible states, that someday we will stand before God and give an account for our lives. So I hope you aren't missing this....we weren't emotionally ready to adopt, we definitely didn't have all the answers, we didn't have an emotional calling to adopt....we read the Word of God and we feared the Lord. It led us to make one of the best decisions we could ever make. I will be completely honest, it has been one of the hardest journeys I have ever traveled with Christ, but it has been so worth it. No one could have prepared me for the ups and downs, and I am glad of that. I may not have otherwise done it. Dan and I were able to take the LONG four year wait for Kevin one day at a time (with lots of tears). There were many times we wondered, "Why in the world it was taking so long?" And, there were so many heartaches and complications. The truth is, I am SO glad our choice to adopt Kevin was based on God's Word, which is His will, and NOT on our emotions. That truth kept us confident through the storms.
I want to jump ahead to the 18 months that we have had this little boy. We have seen his healing come quickly, a desperate prayer I prayed for him according to Isaiah 58. No, he is
There is a lot to think about and consider:
Marriage - it will be most beautiful and most reflective of Christ when you and your spouse have a healthy fear of God. When you are living on a marital mission - meaning you truly can't do alone what you are doing together - your focus remains clear and with eternal purpose. Click here to know more about the book You and Me FOREVER by Francis Chan (100% of the net proceeds will go towards various ministries that include providing food, shelter and rehabilitation for thousands of orphaned children and exploited women around the world).
Action - it is good to remember that we will make mistakes and we will fail at many things. But at least we tried! Amen?! The enemy loves when we don't do anything. Often, we may not "feel" clarity or direction but through God's TRUTHFUL Word we can gain His clarity and direction - our decisions/choices don't have to be emotionally based. Although we may fail at times, there are also times of blessing and successes that will come too!!! We don't want to miss out! Action is required.
Many Blessings!!
Christine
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