A few weeks ago someone posted on the Mom Squad facebook page (I hope that you know that we have one and you really should follow us if you don’t already!) asking us to discuss moms whose children have left home. This is a very tough subject for me as my son will be leaving for college this year. However, since I feel the Lord has been preparing me for this I decided to tackle a blog post on it. I’m sure some of the more “seasoned” moms will have more to add later.
For me this is getting harder and harder as we edge towards graduation. I keep thinking that in a few short months he will be off to college and I’ll be home alone. As much preparation as I can do I still know that the last 18 years of my life I have identified myself as Donovon’s mom and that that is changing! To be honest, I questioned joining the Mom Squad because I was concerned that I didn’t count anymore. My kid, at times, acts as if he no longer needs me. You all know how I feel! My question to myself was: Am I still mom?
The answer I keep hearing from the Lord is a resounding YES AND SO MUCH MORE!!! Mom, our seasons are changing. We may no longer be defined by diapers, bake sales, piano lessons, car pools and PTA meetings but we will are still defined as prayer warrior, listener, counselor and mother. Baking cookies may seem to be gone but I bet there will still be times when that child will come home looking for the “home” that they knew - and that home is you. You are still a mom and you do count!
I mentioned before that the Lord is preparing me for this time and He has been! My time away with the ski team prepared me to not see my son for extended periods of time and my outside activities have prepared me to not ONLY focus on his needs but the needs of others and myself. So many of us are ONLY defined as mom and we are to be defined as more than that. Our definition is Daughter of the King! We are the “Apple of His eye” (Zech 2:8)! God’s purpose for you is to not only be a mom but to serve in many areas and build a strong relationship with Him. Now, don't get me wrong - Motherhood is a precious gift (biological and noon-biological moms) but I don't want us to only define ourselves by this one term. You were God's before you were anyone's mother.
I can’t guarantee it but I believe that by growing my relationship with the Lord I’ll be better able to give Donovon the space he needs at college and not sit at home suffering and feeling useless and pitiful. I know it’s going to be hard, especially as a single woman, but I’m counting on the Lord to get me through it.
As I said, I can’t promise but I hope that by doing the following I can be effective as a mother of an adult and move forward with my life as an individual.
1) PRAY more and develop my relationship with the Lord. That should be our most important relationship anyway. He has to come first!
2) Pour into others. I have a 3 year old god-daughter and several nieces and nephews as well as my church’s youth group that I pour into. Find a young lady who needs mentoring or just an ear to listen and a heart that is willing to pray for her.
3) Read more. Choose any hobby! Mine is reading. It’s a great way to take the focus off of me.
4) Run a marathon. My goal is to exercise more but I really want to run a marathon. Yet something else to take my focus off of me.
5) Spend more time with my girlfriends. Invest in relationships that may have taken a back burner.
6) Lastly, but most importantly: Pray for my son and trust in the power of the Holy Spirit. My pastor’s wife told me the hardest part of parenting is learning to let go. You’ve done your job. Now it’s time to let the Father do His. At times, Donovon is going to excel but he’s also going to fall flat on his face. We all did it and God will get him through it just like He worked in us. My main job is to pray and be there when needed. However, I’m still a mom . . . and He’s still working on me. :-)
I’ll leave you with these two scriptures, which are so familiar yet so encouraging!
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” ~ Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” ~ Romans 8:28 NKJV
A healthy “Mom” recipe to make your day
Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Pancakes
4-6 servings
1 1/4 cup whole wheat flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon honey
3 tablespoons oil
1 cup buttermilk
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon butter
3/4 cup Mini Chocolate Chips
Directions:
1) Mix together dry ingredients.
2) Mix together all wet ingredients.
3) Build a well in the dry ingredients and stir in wet ingredients.
4) Fold in chocolate chips.
5) In a hot pan melt 1 tablespoon of butter.
6) Ladle out ¼ cup batter per pancake. Cook until bubbly and flip over. Don’t squash the pancakes with the spatula.
7) Serve with maple syrup.
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