A Story of Hope and Second Chances

Alex - First Christmas

I would like to share a personal story with you. It is about a journey that my second husband and I went through several years ago when we wanted to have a child together. A journey that could only have been orchestrated by God because everything fell into place so perfectly.  You see, I couldn't have any more children because when I was married the first time, I made the decision to have my tubes tied after my second child was born.  I was young (25), scared, and more than a little foolish. As a matter of fact, if it wasn't for God's grace and "second chances" and for Him bringing a good friend back into my life, my husband and I wouldn't have our youngest son.

At first, we tried in vitro fertilization (IVF).  If you have ever tried IVF or have considered it, you know it is very expensive.  I found out that it is not for every woman either.  The hormone shots were horrible for my body.  I must have gained 10-20 pounds and I felt awful.  I tried to remain positive.  I was so sure that IVF would work for us the first time.  I was so sure that God would give us a child. When I knew that it didn't work, I was crushed.  We really couldn't afford more rounds of IVF and I didn't think I could go through another loss. We were not against adopting. We were considering where we should go to find out more about adopting.  However, God was already working on the plan He had for us.  

It was around this time that I got back in touch with a very good friend from school.  We met each other in third grade and became great friends.  We sang together every chance we got including the school bus ride to and from school every day!  She got married in our senior year in high school and I got married a year after that and moved out of the area for several years.  Our lives were actually on a similiar course.  Unfortunately, we didn't always keep up with each other through the years.  I believe God brought Tina back into my life for a reason.  Tina is the one who told us about the possibility of having a tubal ligation reversal.  I didn't know that was even possible.  Tina is the one who gave us the name of a doctor in Kentucky who specializes in tubal ligation reversals.  His name is Dr. Richard Levin.  When I met Dr. Levin on the phone for the first time, I instantly liked him. At that time, Dr. Levin had helped over two thousand women; women with stories a lot like mine.  Dr. Levin told me that he was only the vessel that God used.  Dr. Levin still does tubal ligation reversals and, to date, he has helped over eight thousand women. (I wrote a testimonial for Dr. Levin in 2003 that is still on his website.)

In April of 2002, my husband and I decided that I would have the tubal ligation reversal surgery in Louisville, Kentucky.  Tina volunteered to go with me to drive me back so my husband didn't have to miss work. We had so much fun on that trip and even though it should have been my husband that went with me, there is a very good reason I am glad that I had a chance to "re-bond" with Tina.

In September 2002, my husband and I found out that Alex was due in May 2003.  For us, the tubal ligation reversal surgery was successful.  However, I truly believe that the surgery was only successful because it was God's plan for us.

Tina Nash

In March of 2004, almost one year after Alex was born, Tina left this earth and went to join our heavenly Father.  Today would have been Tina's 50th birthday.  So, that is why I am so thankful that I had the trip with her to Kentucky to giggle like school girls. This picture of her is one of my favorites because the Tina I remember was always laughing.  I honestly did not plan the timing of this blog post to fall on Tina's birthday. I only realized after the schedule was put together that I chose December 3rd to post this story.  

Why am I sharing this story?  I am sharing this story because there are so many women out there who have a story similar to mine.  I am, also, sharing this story because I believe that God doesn't grant miracles and second chances so that we keep them to ourselves.  They need to be shared for His glory.

God bless, ladies!

Kathleen

Millions of People Disappear Without a Trace

Will You Be - Left Behind?

Friday evening my husband and I went to see the movie, Left Behind, at Atlas Cinema Great Lakes Mall in Mentor. It was our chance to have a date night and see a movie that didn't have animated characters! Earlier on Friday, I heard that the movie did not receive such great reviews. However, I always take a "critics" words with a grain of salt. I like to make my own mind up about whether or not the movie was good. Why?  Because everyone has a different opinion as to what a "good movie" is; everyone has a different motivation for going to see a particular movie. I, also, don't like to read the reviews ahead of time, because they give so much of the movie plot away! (I don't want to know what happens before I see it!).  I won't pretend that I know all about reviewing a movie.  I don't. What I do know is what I like.  Therefore, I would give the movie, Left Behind, one-and-a-half thumbs up!  

I have a very simple "rating" system for whether or not I like a movie. I ask myself these questions:

• Did the movie bring out emotions in me? (Did it make me laugh, cry, shake in my chair?)  I found myself feeling all these emotions.  I laughed, I wanted to cry, I wanted to strangle a few characters (that's when you know the actors did a pretty good job of portraying a character).  I was even scared in some parts.  There were some bad "jokes" in the movie, but you know what? People tell bad jokes in real life!  I found that the characters seemed real! They said things that real people say all the time!  They reacted the way real people do when hearing about God.  I read one movie critics review that was posted online and his opinion was that the movie appeared to make Christians look like they were crazy and that Christians should be upset about this.  Well, newsflash, Mr. Critic.  People have called Christians crazy for centuries!    
• Did the movie have some kind of lesson or message to share?  I believe the movie had several messages to share.  The main message is that, someday, a day that no one will know about, the rapture will happen - Christ will deliver his believers from "the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world" (see Revelation 3:10 ESV).  In order to be spared from going through the tribulation that will follow the rapture, you must be ready (i.e., you must believe what the Bible/God says in John 3:16).  Other messages I found in the movie were: love others while they are in our lives; help our neighbors and care about what is happening in the world; cherish the family unit.  
• Did I leave the moving caring about the characters and thinking about it for awhile?  Even though I knew what the movie was about before I went in, I found myself feeling sad that certain characters were left behind.  Before the movie, I didn't consider the enormous, immediate impact that the rapture would have on those left behind -- passengers on airplanes were stranded in the sky without pilots; trains were left running without engineers to drive them; cars with no drivers crashed into malls; people were running wild, looking for loved ones and children; people were panicking and pillaging.  Yes, there were "hoaky" scenes in the movie where it was definitely a "Hollywood moment."  But, I definitely left the movie thinking about all those things.   

Based on my "system" above, I have to say I enjoyed the movie, Left Behind.  I recommend that you take the time to see it, too.  For less than *$20, my husband and I had a great date night and we had a chance to talk about something other than animated characters! 

Sincerely,

Kathleen Horvath 

*(Get a great deal on Atlas movie tickets at the Fish Market/Half-Price Deals while supplies last):  

http://wfhm.fishhalfpricedeals.com

If you haven't already, "Like" The Mom Squad and Len & Sara's Facebook pages!  See if Len posted his thoughts about the movie!

Mark your calendars and join us for The Mom Squad Holiday Celebration!   Ticket prices are less than last year!  Plenty of time to shop for the holidays - a true "shop-opp."  

Meet Karen - September's Winner of The Mom Squad Mom of the Month Contest

Congratulations to Karen Boyle, September's winner of The Mom Squad Mom of the Month Contest presented by 955 the Fish and the Carlisle Inn.  Karen is a very busy mom of a teenage daughter and a son just entering Kindergarten!   As this month's winner, she will receive an overnight stay at the beautiful Carlisle Inn with dinner included!  

I was blessed to be the one chosen to interview Karen.  Read her responses to the interview questions below to learn, as I did, what makes her such a special mom.  

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1.     Karen, please tell us a little about you.  How many children do you have?  How old are they? 

I am a 49-year old mother of two children.  I have a daughter who is 13 years old and a freshman in high school, and a son who is only 5 years old and just started Kindergarten this year.   I am married.  My husband’s name is Thomas.  I am a bus driver for a local school system. 

I grew up in a military family.  My dad was in the Navy for 30 years, so we traveled all over the world.  My mom was the stronghold in the family.  When the bus was not able to pick us up and take us to the military base for church, my mom held church services in our home.   There were always Bible teachings in our home growing up.

2.     Who has been the biggest influence in your life so far? 

Definitely my mom has been the biggest influence in my life.  As I said, she would have services at our house when the bus couldn’t pick us up and take us to base to church.  There were always praise groups and Bible studies in our home.

3.     Who was your role model for being mom?

My mom absolutely was my role model and still is to this day.   With my dad being in the military and with us traveling around, we were away from other family members so much. 

4.     What do you find is/was your biggest parenting challenge?  How did you handle it?

(With a chuckle) Having a son at 45-years old!  Keeping my son from running up and down the aisles at church is my biggest challenge, but it is all working out great.  I’m just taking one day at a time.  My husband and I wanted another child, a son.  God heard our prayers.

5.     Is there a favorite “mom” story you would like to share with us?  Perhaps something your children did or said that was funny at the time or embarrassing at the time, but funny now?

The most recent funny story happened during my son’s first week in Kindergarten.  He and five other boys decided to jump in these huge water puddles on the playground.  They were soaked.  Five moms had to take clothes for each of their boys to change into.  All of the boys were waiting in the clinic! 

The most precious moments are when my teenage daughter and my kindergartner share a special bond like watching a movie together or doing a secret handshake.  Those are my favorite memories.

6.     What is one thing you have learned as a mom that you would like to share with other new moms out there? 

The best piece of advice I could give other moms is to spend time outdoors with your children.  Have a picnic.  Listen to them.  Value their conversation.  Have lots of quality time together.  Stay away from the electronic devices. 

7.      What is your favorite way to “de-stress”?  Do you have a favorite hobby that helps?

My favorite way to de-stress is to go out on our pontoon boat and take a cruise.  We take a picnic lunch and picnic on the water.  I love to sit on the boat.  It is my de-stresser.

8.     Is there anything else you would like to share with our readers?

Yes, I would like to tell them about Camp Carl in Ravenna.  Camp Carl is owned by The Chapel in Akron, Ohio, and is our favorite all time summer camp.  They instill Christian beliefs in the children.  My daughter goes every year for a week.  She plans on being a camp counselor.  They start with a day camp and then eventually (in 2nd or 3rd grade) they can stay for a week at a time.   

For more information on Camp Carl, please click this link to visit their website: Camp Carl

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Congratulations again, Karen!  Have a well-deserved, mini-getaway at the Carlisle Inn!

If you would like to nominate a special mom for The Mom Squad Mom of the Month contest, visit 955thefish.com to enter your nomination today!   Also, be sure to read Ruth Clifford's interview with August's winner, Carol.

Sincerely,

Kathleen Horvath 

Secret Agents Discover True Meaning of Christmas

A Sunday School Christmas Play

We may have only crossed over into September, but it's not too early to start thinking about directing your church’s Sunday School Christmas Play.  You may be thinking, "You are out of your mind, Kathleen; directing is not for me."  First of all, it’s okay.  A lot of people are afraid to take on the task of directing a children's play.   However, if you follow the basic steps I have outlined below, you will find that directing a children’s play is easy, fun, and can be just the “re-charge*” you need! 

Basic Steps for Directing a Children’s Christmas Play

1.       Choose a play.  In choosing a play, consider the    

a.      age of the children you have to work with  

b.      gender you have to work with.  Girls tend to be more eager to be in a play than boys. 

c.       length of the play.  How much time will the children have to perform the play?        

2.      Select the cast.  In casting the play, consider

a.    the reading ability of the children – Are the children old enough to read?  Will the lines need to be memorized?   

b.     roles that are “age-appropriate” for the children you have to work with.   

c.   whether any of the children may have special needs.  Make sure each child can participate in some way. 

3.       Schedule rehearsals.  You will need to

a.    decide how many weeks you have to rehearse and how long each rehearsal will be.   You can start out practicing only 15 to 20 minutes and then increase the time as you get closer to the program.  I recommended having at least one Saturday dress rehearsal the week before the program.  If you provide food after the dress rehearsal, the children will attend! 

b.    decide if you need to teach the children any songs.  Try to use songs or melodies they already know.    

4.      Gather costumes.  Make sure to

a.      make a list of the costumes and props each character will need

b.     ask for help from a teen or other adult in pulling costumes together

5.      Spread the word.  Make sure to  

a.     announce/post the date and time of the play in your church bulletin/newsletter as soon as possible

b.    ask the children and their parents to invite friends and family

6.      Relax!  On the day of the play, consider

a.    nerves – both you and the children may feel a little nervous.  Say a prayer with them before the program that God will bless the program so they can tell others about the birth of Jesus and the real reason for the season.   

b.     your props.  Are props set where they need to be?

c.     parents love seeing their children in a Christmas play!  Again, I say, relax!

If you don’t already have a Christmas program in mind, you are welcome to use a play I wrote last year entitled, Secret Agents Discover the True Meaning of Christmas.  The children in my congregation performed the play last year and had a great time.  You may customize it as necessary. If you would like a copy of the play sent to you, please send a request via The Mom Squad Facebook page.    

*Now that you are all “re-charged” and excited about directing a play, be sure to attend “Re-Ignite with the Mom Squad” at Root Candle Company in Medina on Saturday, September 20, 2014.  Root Candle and 95.5 The Fish are sponsoring this special, half-day program where fun, encouragement, and shopping are on the agenda for the day.  Brooke Taylor will be there with all The Mom Squad ladies!  Root Candle is offering a special discount (September 20^th only) for all who attend the event.  While you’re thinking about Christmas, make sure you pick up lots of candles while you are the event for everyone on your Christmas list.  

For more information about the event and to order your tickets, visit:

https://rhynotickets.com/reignitewithmomsquad/ 

The Mom Squad is looking forward to meeting you on September 20^th! 

Sincerely,  

Kathleen

I Will Survive (for Moms)

Throughout the month of August, The Mom Squad has shared a lot of great tips and advice on back-to-school issues.  

My advice for moms is to remember to laugh (and sing) throughout all the morning chaos, the homework blues, and the bedtime drama.

Everything that you think is a struggle now, will be just a distant memory in the future -- this too shall pass.  It's very hard to believe that my youngest child is now entering middle school!  Here come the hormones - for the third time around!  

Today, I just want to share with you a video of a song that I re-wrote for fun and encouragement.  This may be your current mommy stage or one you went through a few years ago.  Whether you have infants, toddlers, teens, or adult babies, I hope this song will bring a smile to your face as you listen to the words. 

Each day, remember to laugh as often as possible.  There is a time to laugh!  

Ecclesiastes 3:1-12

  There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.

If you have a favorite or funny song you sing in the mornings or a particular way you "survive" the often-hectic back-to-school mornings, please visit The Mom Squad Facebook Page and share your survival tips with us.   

Kathleen

Love What You Have

Woman to Woman 

This past weekend was my daughter's wedding.  We spent several months getting ready for the big day and had a lot of laughs (and a little drama) along the way.  For example, the day we went to find her wedding dress, I got my car stuck, really stuck, in the driveway at the bridal shop.  There was so much snow, I couldn't see that I was about to drive over an 18" drop-off in the driveway.  I thought the driveway behind the dress shop and the restaurant next door were connected.  Turns out, they are not!  My daughter and I were laughing about something and the next thing we knew, we heard a thump!  I couldn't go forwards or backwards.  I was so embarrassed. The owner of the bridal shop was so nice.   She helped shovel around my car so we could see what was going on and to see if there was any damage.  She offered to reschedule my daughter's appointment.  However, I didn't want to reschedule the appointment because I wanted this day to be about my daughter and I wanted her to be happy.  It was hard enough for us to find a time to get together, I didn't want to "waste" this day.  It all worked out okay because my husband (who rescues me frequently) came out, assessed the situation, and stayed there until a tow truck could arrive so that my daughter and I could go to her appointment.  My car had to be lifted up and off the cement divider, but there was no apparent damage (thank you, Lord - truly!).  

During all the wedding planning and preparations, I knew I would be an emotional wreck during the ceremony and at the reception.  I am an emotional person anyway.  However, I wasn't totally prepared for how I would feel after the wedding and the reception were over.  I am blessed that I never experienced postpartum depression, but now, I felt like I was going through, "postmatrimonial" depression for mother-of-the-bride (is there such a thing?). When you are in the mommy planning zone, all you can think about is what you have to do next.  You have a huge list of people and places to contact to make sure everything goes smoothly. However, the next thing you know, it's the day of the wedding and you, as a parent, have to do something that you didn't think would have such a large impact on your emotions--you have to give your daughter to someone else. Say that again?  I have to let someone else be more important in her life than her parents?  I was, also, not prepared to receive some advice from her dad that I really needed to hear.  

During the reception, all the parents sat at one table.  During one of our conversations, my daughter's dad gave all of us some excellent advice.  He said, "love what you have."  That piece of advice has been stuck in my head all week.  It is so simple, yet, I believe that most people do not do a very good job of loving what they have--myself included.  We are so busy running after the next best thing that we don't take time to love what we do have and what God gave to us.  How often do we thank God, really thank God for all the blessings He bestows on us and for the people who are in our life?  How many people are no longer in our life because we didn't do a very good job of loving them?    

Loving what you have and loving those around us is very important to God.  If you have any doubt, review Exodus 20:2-17 or Deuteronomy 5:6-21 which list the commandments God gave to us.  One of the commandments that God gave to us specifically tells us not to covet what our neighbor has--his wife, his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey or anything that belongs to our neighbor.  In other words, love what you have and have been given--don't yearn to possess something that someone else has. (See Josie's blog post for more information on jealousy).  To be honest, there are days when still I find myself "coveting" my "neighbor's" house or furnishings.   When I was younger, I found myself thinking (as Ruth mentioned in her blog post) that if I just had a nicer house or bigger house, I would be happy. However, I now realize that my happiness doesn't depend on the house I am in.  My happiness comes from loving God and Him loving me.  I have learned that if I am not happy where I am with what I have, I will not be happy in the bigger, more expensive house.  

The wedding day has now come and gone.  Just like life, it all goes so quickly--in the blink of an eye.  My goal is going to be to follow this simple advice, "love what you have."  Don't wait to appreciate the people God has placed in your life.  If you don't love them now, you may not get a chance to love them later.  

I would love to hear all the funny stories you may have as "mother-of-the-bride" or from your child's wedding.  Jump over to The Mom Squad Facebook page if you care to share!   

School's Out - Or is it?

Hi moms!

I hope you are all having a wonderful summer!  I, for one, am so thankful for the break from the "school routine."  I love not having to worry about reviewing papers or signing papers or making sure homework assignments are done and correct.  However, I have to admit that, at times, I feel pressure during summer break to make sure our eleven-year old, Alex, keeps up with his reading and math skills.  I feel guilty for not spending more time making sure he reads 20 minutes a day or works on his math facts each week.  During the school year, I end up feeling guilty that I'm not teaching Alex how to be more independent by getting his own breakfast, picking out his clothes, etc.  If there is one thing that moms do very well, it is taking guilt trips. We know exactly where to go and what to pack.

On one of my recent "guilt" trips, I took Alex to the grocery store and on several other errands that I had to do.  I was thinking to myself that I really just wanted to spend some time with Alex this summer.  We haven't even made it to the pool together yet and it is mid-July.  Alex must have sensed what I was thinking because he said, "why is it that on your days off, we always have to do the errands?"  Now, honestly, there were several ways I wanted to answer that question.  Part of me wanted to sound selfish and say, "Yeah, why do I have to be the one doing the grocery shopping, paying the bills and keeping up with the housework on my days off?"  Part of me wanted to say, "Because that's what moms do."  Part of me wanted to kick my own butt for not letting some things go and just having fun with Alex.  I realized that I could take this opportunity to complain or I could be thankful that I have this opportunity to teach Alex some necessary life skills like grocery shopping. He needs to learn that grocery shopping is not always fun, it takes time to go through the store, sort your groceries, pack your groceries, load your groceries in the car and then unpack your groceries and put them away when you get home.  I think by having him participate in this one "chore," he can better understand how much time this can take and what you have to go through to have food on the table.  It is, also, an opportunity for me to teach my son how to read labels, how to make wise purchases, and why you can't have every food item just because it looks good.  This is not the first time I have taken Alex grocery shopping with me; however, for some reason, he seemed to understand during this trip that his time will come when he will have to know how to do the grocery shopping and other necessary life skills.   I felt like we connected on a different level this time. I felt like we had taken one step down the road of independence!   My trip destination this time wasn't "Guilt City."   As a matter of fact, I already have other "life skills" I can't wait to teach Alex this summer (like the laundry)!

Moms, I don't know about you, but, during the school year, I find that I am so busy overseeing school work and getting ready for the next day that I don't always get to focus as much as I would like on the every day life skills that are so important.  In my opinion, schools should offer more classes that teach basic life skills and make them mandatory.  When I went to school, we took home economics, shop, and family life/parenting classes.  Regardless of whether you go on to technical school, college or just find a job after high school, children need to know these basic life skills.  They need to know how to balance a checkbook!

Are you wondering how I answered Alex's question, "Why is it that on your days off, we always have to do the errands?" Well, after I had time to think and we headed out of the parking lot, I gave him an honest answer to his question.   "I do the errands because I only work part-time outside the home.  Dad works a lot more hours.  I am blessed to have a flexible job and to have the extra time with you, even if it is spent doing errands."  He seemed to have a new appreciation for me that day, his mom and summer teacher!    

Blessings!

Kathleen

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

"Natural" Beauty

Good Morning, Ladies!

My daughter is getting married this summer and it has been so much fun helping with all the wedding plans.  I love organizing, shopping, decorating, and planning.  Of course, the best part of it all has been being able to spend more time with my daughter. Since she moved out on her own after high school, we haven't had enough time (in my opinion) to do "girly" things together. The wedding has provided a wonderful opportunity for us to reconnect, not only on a mom to daughter level, but also on a woman to woman level as well.    

Last Sunday, my daughter, her best friend (who I also call my daughter), and I headed west on a grand adventure to find a dress for me, the "mother of the bride" or "M.O.B." for short.  It was our excuse to get out of the house, away from the guys, eat lunch and have coffee!  The girls helped me pick out several different dresses to try on.  I went the brave route and tried on styles of dresses I normally never would have tried on. After about the fourth dress, the fourth time of holding my breath, and stuffing it all in, I knew I had found the dress.  I went up front to make an appointment for alterations.  When I was making the appointment, the seamstress reminded me to make sure to bring all the undergarments that I will wear with the dress as well as the shoes I will wear for the wedding to the alterations appointment.  Oh no!  I thought I had it made because I found the dress.  I forgot that I will have to do more searching and planning to find the right undergarments, the shoes, and, of course, all the accessories!  The shoe shopping is the part I dread.  My feet are so wide, they named a four-lane highway after them (I'm kidding!).  But, they are wide and it is hard to find a comfortable shoe.  (I knew I should have ordered the shoes first and then found the dress to go with the shoes).    

After taking a quick break for lunch and re-charging with a cup of coffee, we decided to browse through a cosmetic/beauty store so that my daughter could look at all the myriad of makeup and nail polish options available.  I never knew there were so many nail polish colors to choose from!  We looked at false eyelashes.  Did you know they make false eyelashes with lace in them?  We looked at self-tanners.  We learned the ABC's of BB, CC and DD creams!  I was very glad we didn't have to take a test because I'm not sure I would have passed.  As I was checking all these items out, I realized how silly we women can be at times.  We tend to say we want to "look natural" or we just want to enhance our "natural beauty." We spend a ton of money, time, and effort on doing things to our body that just aren't natural so that we can feel more beautiful.  We end up believing that if we use this cellulite cream or that brand of makeup, we will look just like the beautiful models in the magazines.  How did we ever get to the point of letting the fashion and cosmetic industries dictate what the standard for beautiful really is?  

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with wanting to look nice and being healthy.  We should want to take care of the temples we are given.  However, we should not become so obsessed by our outward appearance that it becomes our main focus.  We should not associate our self-worth or our value with how we think we look or what others think of our outward appearance.  As Christian women, our beauty should come from the light inside of us - the light which is Christ.  Our beauty is the inner joy we have that can't help but radiate throughout our soul and shine through our eyes to others in the world.   This kind of beauty is a natural beauty that will never fade even when our hair turns gray and our bodies start to give out.  Our standard for beautiful can be found in 1 Peter 3:3-4 which says,

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

Natural beauty is so much deeper than skin level.  It doesn't come from a box, a bottle, a jar, or the clothing in our wardrobe.  The secret to natural beauty is not really a secret.  If you want to find the "fountain of youth" you need to have the "river of life" flowing out of your soul.

Blessings!

Kathleen  

Out of My Comfort Zone

Good morning ladies!

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I hope you are all doing well and feeling blessed.  This morning, I may need to say a short eulogy for my laptop computer.  I knew it was sick and not doing well, yet, I pressed on.   Last night, it refused to start its operating system.  I thought, "Give it some time overnight to renew and it will be fine."  I said my prayers (and one for my laptop as well) and hopped into bed.  Well, I got up bright and early this morning to see how my "old friend" was doing.  It is still refusing to launch its operating system.  Now, I must leave my comfort zone and use (bom, bom, bom) the desktop! 

Now, I know that this is not the end of the world, but I have become quite used to using my laptop.  It takes me out of my comfort zone to use another computer that just doesn't have all my "stuff" that I am used to having there.  Also, I will now need to spend some time diagnosing whether this is a "fatality" or whether the laptop just needs some "ICU" time.  However, after thinking about the whole situation it seems like God, with the laptop and other recent events in my life, is gently reminding me not to get comfortable with being comfortable.  I tend to get into a groove where, if things are going well, I just go with the flow.

God doesn't want me to get too comfortable (like this cat).  He has a lot of work for me to do.  He has placed on my heart a project that seems a little scary, yet exciting.  I have to remember that if He brings me to it, He'll see me through it! 

 

What about you?  Do you tend to get into your comfort zone and then not want to leave?  Are you hearing God's call, but offering excuses about why you cannot do what He is asking you to do because the unknown seems scary?  Take heart and remember what God tells us in Romans 8:28: 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  [NIV]
 

I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and jump into God's comforting arms. 

Blessings ladies!

Kathleen

 

 

 

 

Accentuate the Positive

Question of the day...

Is your glass half empty or half full?  Do you usually have a positive attitude throughout the day or do you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, your family or others?  If you have a poor attitude throughout the day, it may be that you are listening to the negative “self-talk” that is going on in your head.  

In this blog posting, I want to share with you:  (1) what "self-talk" is; (2) what are some common forms of negative self-talk that we engage in without realizing it; (3) how negative self-talk affects us and others around us; and (4) how we can stop ourselves from thinking negatively.     

What is self-talk?  According to an article published on March 4, 2014, by the Mayo Clinic entitled, "Positive thinking: stop negative self-talk to reduce stress," "self-talk is the steady stream of endless unspoken thoughts that run through our head." When the self-talk is mostly positive, our attitudes tend to be positive.  When the self-talk is mostly negative, our attitudes tend to be negative.  Therefore, in order to be positive, we need to make sure we are filling our minds with positive self-talk.  That sounds easy, but sometimes we are not even aware of what we are saying to ourselves. We don't realize how much damage we are doing to our self-esteem. 

What are some common forms of negative self-talk that we engage in without realizing it?  The Mayo Clinic article stated that there are four common forms of negative self-talk that our minds are engaged in:       

• Filtering – Filtering is when you magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive aspects of a situation.  For example, you had a great day with your children.  You read several Bible passages together, you took some time to create an art project with them and you helped them with their homework. However, that evening when you sit down to think about your day, all you can think about is what you didn't get accomplished that day.  You filtered out all those positive moments you experienced throughout the day.     
• Personalizing – Personalizing is when something bad occurs and you automatically blame yourself.  For example, you are working on a project at work with a group of co-workers.  The project gets cancelled and you automatically assume you did something wrong.  
• Catastrophizing – Catastrophizing is when you automatically anticipate the worst.  For example, you go to pick up a cake you ordered for a party.  The bakery gets the date wrong and doesn't have your cake ready when you go to pick it up.  Now, you automatically think the rest of your day will be a disaster.  
• Polarizing – Polarizing is where you see things only as either all good or all bad.  There is no middle ground.  You feel that you have to be perfect or you’re a total failure.

How does negative self-talk affect us and others around us?  Negative self-talk can turn a positive person into a paranoid person with a negative attitude about oneself, others or life in general.  It can turn you into a person that no-one wants to be around. People may avoid contact with you if you are always negative.  

My definition of negative-self talk is all the things you tell yourself inside your head that prevent you from working or living up to your full potential as a child of God!  You are really mentally assaulting yourself and hurting God's own precious creation.  You need to be able to identify when you are mentally mistreating yourself and then take steps to stop it in its tracks. 

How can we stop ourselves from thinking negatively?    First of all, you need to identify when you are thinking negative thoughts.  How do you this?  According to the Mayo article, one way to identify when you are thinking negative thoughts is to stop periodically throughout the day and check your attitude.  Are you feeling positive when you check?  Are you feeling negative or angry?  Identify exactly what you are thinking at that moment.  Chances are if you are feeling negative when you check your attitude, you are thinking negative thoughts.  

The Mayo article suggested putting a positive spin on negative thoughts to improve your attitude.  For example, if you are thinking, "I can't do this, I've never done this before," tell yourself instead, "it's an opportunity to learn something new."  I suggest that you go to God's word for encouragement and to find the help you need in the scriptures.  If you have some scripture verses tucked inside your heart and memory, you can turn your negative thoughts back to positive thoughts.  For example:  

  Examples of Negative Self-Talk      Scripture Verses To Remember

I can't do this. I've never done this before.  I don't have the skills, money, time, etc., to do this.	I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.   Philippians 4:13 [NKJV]
I am too afraid to try this; I can't get over my fear.	Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord Your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 [ESV]
I am a nobody.	See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!   1 John 3:1 [NIV]
I feel ugly because __________  (fill in the blank).	I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14 [ESV]

Once you are aware of your negative self-talk and what you are telling yourself, you can find a scripture verse to memorize to get your thoughts back on a positive track.  Better yet, find a song based on a scripture verse to get your thoughts back on a positive track (listen to 95.5 The Fish!).  Sing the song out loud to reinforce the positive thought.   If I have a day when I need to recharge and get my mind and my heart back in the right place, I pick a song and belt it out loud!  

The bottom line is that you can't stop the self-talk that is going on inside of your head.  However, you can learn to identify when your thoughts and your attitude are negative and you can change those negative thoughts to positive thoughts by practicing positive self-talk and looking to God's word for daily help and encouragement.  Not only will you feel better, but others will enjoy being around you.   

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  Philippians 4:8 [NIV] 

God bless!