Accentuate the Positive

Question of the day...

Is your glass half empty or half full?  Do you usually have a positive attitude throughout the day or do you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, your family or others?  If you have a poor attitude throughout the day, it may be that you are listening to the negative “self-talk” that is going on in your head.  

In this blog posting, I want to share with you:  (1) what "self-talk" is; (2) what are some common forms of negative self-talk that we engage in without realizing it; (3) how negative self-talk affects us and others around us; and (4) how we can stop ourselves from thinking negatively.     

What is self-talk?  According to an article published on March 4, 2014, by the Mayo Clinic entitled, "Positive thinking: stop negative self-talk to reduce stress," "self-talk is the steady stream of endless unspoken thoughts that run through our head." When the self-talk is mostly positive, our attitudes tend to be positive.  When the self-talk is mostly negative, our attitudes tend to be negative.  Therefore, in order to be positive, we need to make sure we are filling our minds with positive self-talk.  That sounds easy, but sometimes we are not even aware of what we are saying to ourselves. We don't realize how much damage we are doing to our self-esteem. 

What are some common forms of negative self-talk that we engage in without realizing it?  The Mayo Clinic article stated that there are four common forms of negative self-talk that our minds are engaged in:       

• Filtering – Filtering is when you magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive aspects of a situation.  For example, you had a great day with your children.  You read several Bible passages together, you took some time to create an art project with them and you helped them with their homework. However, that evening when you sit down to think about your day, all you can think about is what you didn't get accomplished that day.  You filtered out all those positive moments you experienced throughout the day.     
• Personalizing – Personalizing is when something bad occurs and you automatically blame yourself.  For example, you are working on a project at work with a group of co-workers.  The project gets cancelled and you automatically assume you did something wrong.  
• Catastrophizing – Catastrophizing is when you automatically anticipate the worst.  For example, you go to pick up a cake you ordered for a party.  The bakery gets the date wrong and doesn't have your cake ready when you go to pick it up.  Now, you automatically think the rest of your day will be a disaster.  
• Polarizing – Polarizing is where you see things only as either all good or all bad.  There is no middle ground.  You feel that you have to be perfect or you’re a total failure.

How does negative self-talk affect us and others around us?  Negative self-talk can turn a positive person into a paranoid person with a negative attitude about oneself, others or life in general.  It can turn you into a person that no-one wants to be around. People may avoid contact with you if you are always negative.  

My definition of negative-self talk is all the things you tell yourself inside your head that prevent you from working or living up to your full potential as a child of God!  You are really mentally assaulting yourself and hurting God's own precious creation.  You need to be able to identify when you are mentally mistreating yourself and then take steps to stop it in its tracks. 

How can we stop ourselves from thinking negatively?    First of all, you need to identify when you are thinking negative thoughts.  How do you this?  According to the Mayo article, one way to identify when you are thinking negative thoughts is to stop periodically throughout the day and check your attitude.  Are you feeling positive when you check?  Are you feeling negative or angry?  Identify exactly what you are thinking at that moment.  Chances are if you are feeling negative when you check your attitude, you are thinking negative thoughts.  

The Mayo article suggested putting a positive spin on negative thoughts to improve your attitude.  For example, if you are thinking, "I can't do this, I've never done this before," tell yourself instead, "it's an opportunity to learn something new."  I suggest that you go to God's word for encouragement and to find the help you need in the scriptures.  If you have some scripture verses tucked inside your heart and memory, you can turn your negative thoughts back to positive thoughts.  For example:  

  Examples of Negative Self-Talk      Scripture Verses To Remember

I can't do this. I've never done this before.  I don't have the skills, money, time, etc., to do this.	I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.   Philippians 4:13 [NKJV]
I am too afraid to try this; I can't get over my fear.	Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord Your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 [ESV]
I am a nobody.	See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!   1 John 3:1 [NIV]
I feel ugly because __________  (fill in the blank).	I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14 [ESV]

Once you are aware of your negative self-talk and what you are telling yourself, you can find a scripture verse to memorize to get your thoughts back on a positive track.  Better yet, find a song based on a scripture verse to get your thoughts back on a positive track (listen to 95.5 The Fish!).  Sing the song out loud to reinforce the positive thought.   If I have a day when I need to recharge and get my mind and my heart back in the right place, I pick a song and belt it out loud!  

The bottom line is that you can't stop the self-talk that is going on inside of your head.  However, you can learn to identify when your thoughts and your attitude are negative and you can change those negative thoughts to positive thoughts by practicing positive self-talk and looking to God's word for daily help and encouragement.  Not only will you feel better, but others will enjoy being around you.   

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  Philippians 4:8 [NIV] 

God bless!