(5 “P’s” TO KICK ENVY'S BUTT FOR GOOD!)
“For
where jealousy and selfish ambition exist,
there will be disorder and every vile practice.” James 3:16
there will be disorder and every vile practice.” James 3:16
Amidst my frustration He gently whispered these words, “Josie, eyes on
your own paper, too much looking in that direction causes you to look away from
Me…”
Eyes on your own paper, I thought to myself, I was told that once
before… It was somewhere between 3rd
and 5th grade. My best friend
sat in front of me, a row over, and to the left. A seat that was perfectly in line enough for
my eyes to meet her quiz answers with ease.
She knew that I did not study, and she moved her paper over so that I
could copy all of her answers. Unsurprisingly, we were embarrassed and ashamed
the next day when the teacher gave us both ‘F’s’ for cheating on that
quiz. She advised us to always keep our
eyes on our own papers...Recently, as a newer mom and well, just being blatantly female, I noticed how much time I really spend looking at other women’s ‘papers!’ I look at how they dress, what they have, how they raise their kids, etc. etc. etc. Before I know it, I’m on a downward spiral of spite and envy, convinced that my body is atrocious, my house is unlivable, my abilities are limited, my efforts are sluggish, my mothering is deplorable and every other woman I come in contact with obviously has it all together! (And lives a beautifully stress free, fully lavish life!J)
Then the judgment sets in.
It makes perfect sense that envy so easily turns into evil. I hate to admit this, but I’ve noticed in my
past how the person I was envying soon became the target in which I set my bull’s-eye. It was easier to accept what it was I envied
about them, if I could somehow attribute it to something negative. If I didn’t think about it this way, then I
would instead turn the condemnation toward myself. ‘I don’t spend enough time with my son. I will
never be as successful as her. I will
never be as athletic, talented, graceful, smart, skinny blah blah blah!’ Don’t we quickly forget that God’s blueprint
for our lives is a one- of-a-kind original not meant to look like anyone else’s? It is a terrible thing us women often do to
ourselves and each other.
In grade school neither I nor my best friend benefitted from
sharing quiz answers. Unless my eyes are
looking through lenses of love, there’s still no good that comes from focusing on
anyone else’s life and all that they have within it. Envy is slow burning stick of dynamite, with
no other purpose but to completely annihilate relationships, confidence, truth
and ultimately love.
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh,
but envy makes the bones rot. Proverbs 14:30
but envy makes the bones rot. Proverbs 14:30
Hearing His words, “Josie, eyes on your own paper, too much
looking in that direction causes you to look away from Me,” finally made sense
to me. Duh! Keeping my eyes on Him means my eyes won’t be
as likely to travel in other unhealthy directions. So I decided to commit my thoughts to Him when
envy starts to show its ugly face. I
asked Him how to kick envy’s butt for good and here is what He gave me…
1.
PAUSE.
Pause and catch your thought. Think about ‘what or who’ it is you have set
your eyes on, rather than the One who is truly worth our focus.
2.
PRAY.
Pray that the Lord would help you let go of
the need to compare or envy at that very moment and instead fill you with love
and humility.
3.
PRAISE.
As hard as this one can be sometimes, find
a way to encourage the other person for what it is you desire of theirs, and
praise the Lord for Him blessing them so.
4.
PICK.
Pick love.
If nothing else comes to mind, this is your quick ‘two word’ go to: PICK
LOVE!
5.
PRACTICE.
Finally, practice 1-4 until you’re so full of
joy overflowing that you actually can’t wait to celebrate with that person,
what it was you envied in their life in the first place!
The outcome
of implementing these 5 “P’s”
will ultimately result in a 6th
‘P’
PEACE!
Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another,
agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be
with you.
2 Corinthians 13:11
2 Corinthians 13:11
14 comments :
Great article, mom squad :). Keep up the inspiration for other mom's!!!!!
Great reminder Josie!
Beautiful! This really makes me think. (I'm so proud of you, Josie!)
Absolutely amazing post. Thank you Josie
Thank you guys so much. I appreciate the feedback!
Great post, Josie! Thank you for all the suggestions, too, on how to deal with the envy and remind us of what direction we should be looking!
You always seem to have the words I need to hear Josie! What a blessing you are to all of us. And yes, eyes on your own paper, you are a wonderful woman, wife and mother!
As I have often counseled my sister and my kids, sometimes the way not to get caught up in what everyone else "has" is to look to what others "don't have". Sometimes in our wanting for ourselves, we miss out what others need. So many that need a hug, a call, or just a word of encouragement. Some good thoughts, and I get what you are saying, but worry that we don't take care of each other and take our minds off of ourselves.
I really think this is a beautiful blessing to read, for anyone too read. Thank U Josie! Loved it
You really do have a talent for putting on paper words of encouragement! Love you Josie!
Great reminder. SO many times in life you let your opinions take over.. and you the advice of the 5 P's is a great way to remind yourself to step back and look at what you are doing.
you have done well! :)
You have spoken well!
Josie,
such a great post. Sometimes as women we get caught up in the who's and who's nots.. Sometimes steping back and thinking about what is going on is the best way.. and the 5 P's is a great way to do that.
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