Love What You Have

Woman to Woman 

This past weekend was my daughter's wedding.  We spent several months getting ready for the big day and had a lot of laughs (and a little drama) along the way.  For example, the day we went to find her wedding dress, I got my car stuck, really stuck, in the driveway at the bridal shop.  There was so much snow, I couldn't see that I was about to drive over an 18" drop-off in the driveway.  I thought the driveway behind the dress shop and the restaurant next door were connected.  Turns out, they are not!  My daughter and I were laughing about something and the next thing we knew, we heard a thump!  I couldn't go forwards or backwards.  I was so embarrassed. The owner of the bridal shop was so nice.   She helped shovel around my car so we could see what was going on and to see if there was any damage.  She offered to reschedule my daughter's appointment.  However, I didn't want to reschedule the appointment because I wanted this day to be about my daughter and I wanted her to be happy.  It was hard enough for us to find a time to get together, I didn't want to "waste" this day.  It all worked out okay because my husband (who rescues me frequently) came out, assessed the situation, and stayed there until a tow truck could arrive so that my daughter and I could go to her appointment.  My car had to be lifted up and off the cement divider, but there was no apparent damage (thank you, Lord - truly!).  

During all the wedding planning and preparations, I knew I would be an emotional wreck during the ceremony and at the reception.  I am an emotional person anyway.  However, I wasn't totally prepared for how I would feel after the wedding and the reception were over.  I am blessed that I never experienced postpartum depression, but now, I felt like I was going through, "postmatrimonial" depression for mother-of-the-bride (is there such a thing?). When you are in the mommy planning zone, all you can think about is what you have to do next.  You have a huge list of people and places to contact to make sure everything goes smoothly. However, the next thing you know, it's the day of the wedding and you, as a parent, have to do something that you didn't think would have such a large impact on your emotions--you have to give your daughter to someone else. Say that again?  I have to let someone else be more important in her life than her parents?  I was, also, not prepared to receive some advice from her dad that I really needed to hear.  

During the reception, all the parents sat at one table.  During one of our conversations, my daughter's dad gave all of us some excellent advice.  He said, "love what you have."  That piece of advice has been stuck in my head all week.  It is so simple, yet, I believe that most people do not do a very good job of loving what they have--myself included.  We are so busy running after the next best thing that we don't take time to love what we do have and what God gave to us.  How often do we thank God, really thank God for all the blessings He bestows on us and for the people who are in our life?  How many people are no longer in our life because we didn't do a very good job of loving them?    

Loving what you have and loving those around us is very important to God.  If you have any doubt, review Exodus 20:2-17 or Deuteronomy 5:6-21 which list the commandments God gave to us.  One of the commandments that God gave to us specifically tells us not to covet what our neighbor has--his wife, his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey or anything that belongs to our neighbor.  In other words, love what you have and have been given--don't yearn to possess something that someone else has. (See Josie's blog post for more information on jealousy).  To be honest, there are days when still I find myself "coveting" my "neighbor's" house or furnishings.   When I was younger, I found myself thinking (as Ruth mentioned in her blog post) that if I just had a nicer house or bigger house, I would be happy. However, I now realize that my happiness doesn't depend on the house I am in.  My happiness comes from loving God and Him loving me.  I have learned that if I am not happy where I am with what I have, I will not be happy in the bigger, more expensive house.  

The wedding day has now come and gone.  Just like life, it all goes so quickly--in the blink of an eye.  My goal is going to be to follow this simple advice, "love what you have."  Don't wait to appreciate the people God has placed in your life.  If you don't love them now, you may not get a chance to love them later.  

I would love to hear all the funny stories you may have as "mother-of-the-bride" or from your child's wedding.  Jump over to The Mom Squad Facebook page if you care to share!