The After School Release

Before I became a stay at home momma, rides home from work had become my designated time to unwind from my busy work day. I would leave work and have exactly 40 minutes to catch up on phone calls, pay bills and sing along with a few of my favorite songs on The Fish before I made it home. This was MY TIME and I looked forward to this 40 minutes each and every day.

The only problem with this block of time was that for 20 of those minutes my five year old was in the car...
                               A FIVE year old, GIRL...Need I say more?

and she wanted to talk, ENDLESSLY!

She wanted to tell me ALL about her day at school, every detail and it couldn't wait until later. Well, I ONLY had 40 minutes to myself and after that she could have ALL my attention the rest of the evening. Everyone would have my attention the rest of the evening, all I wanted was my 40 minutes... was that to much to ask?

I must admit that at first I was annoyed by the many ways she tried to get my attention. She would try to talk while I was on the phone, interrupt me in the middle of singing my song and call my name while I was paying a bill on the phone (which was usually being done via voice prompt so it picked up "mommy" rather than what I was saying). I was annoyed. How hard was it to come in the car and sit quietly until we made it home?

Tip 1:Children naturally want to unwind after school and tell someone about their day. This may mean sacrificing some of your time of peace for them to release.

There was something about her coming right into my presence that made her feel she had to tell me everything right away. Her conversation couldn't wait. The events of her day were so pressing that in order for her school day to end, she needed mommy to know the good, the bad and the ugly regarding her day, but I was determined to get my 40 minutes.

Until one day... I looked back at her and realized she was doing exactly what I had been telling her to do. She was sitting quietly in the back seat looking out the window and saying nothing. No words were coming out of her mouth but her face was speaking loudly and saying, "I just want to talk to my mommy, but I know she is busy."

Tip 2: Although as parents our days may be full of extreme challenges, try not to minimize the challenges that our children face. Remember, those challenges are extreme from their perspective.

 It was then that I realized I was wrong. I began to realize that I am my daughters first friend and she learns how important she is to others by how important I make her to me. I didn't want her feeling like a burden to my day or that she has to tell someone else about her day at school because I was to busy to listen. I realized how important our after school conversations were for her and for me. I apologized to her and told her I was wrong.

Tip 3: Learn to Listen. Children say so much through verbal and non verbal communication, as parents we should learn to listen to both.

Moving forward, as soon as she was heading to the car, I would hang up the phone. I would ask her how her day was and we would talk, laugh, and converse all the way home. Those car conversation became so important to my day and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

I want to encourage you to embrace that time as well. Sure you could be doing many other things but our children need to release, similarly to how we release as soon as we come into the presence of the Lord.  Our children want to do the same thing in our presence. One thing about parenting, many lessons are learned through our mistakes. I am so thankful that God used my five year old to teach me how to value time and the importance of listening.